Fortnight to my twenty fourth year on this stage of
fools apology to Shakespeare, I visited my mentor a man I’m well pleased with,
a towering intellectual, and he decided to entertain me in a nearby alehouse,
an ardent believer in the age long saying that ‘in wine lies the truth’.
Egbon:
Oliver,
please place your order
Me: I don’t drink
alcohol
Egbon:
I insist, do you know you are intelligent, however I get your best when you
drink, please drink something.
Me: waiter, abeg
give me one origin or Ice
Egbo: origin is
better, it’s medicinal and herbal
Me: egbon, but it
contains alcohol
Egbon:
it is just 6% Vol. moreover, you are a social drinker
Me: mmmmmh, sounds
fine
Waiter:
oga, big or small
Me: small, ha,
waiter, you wan kill me?
Waiter:
haaaa, no oga, na market I wan sell ooooooo, oga take big abeg
Egbon:
are you sure small is fine?
Me: I’m a house fellowship
leader
Egbon:
hahahaaa, Oliver do you know religion is counter-productive
After gulping the
content, feeling a bit tipsy
Me: religion clouds
your reasoning; DH Lawrence once said who says you shouldn’t ask questions?
Me: religion says
Egbon:
waiter bring another bottle
Me: collected it
shyly, Egbon I am a house fellowship leader; I mustn’t be caught in the act
Egbon:
what act?
Egbon:
God is the giver of all things
Me: yes, however
moderation is civility
Egbon:
Moderation is alien to our culture, in this clime, the selected politicians
loot with impunity. We don’t nibble, we devour
Me: you have spoken
well, waiter bring big
Rushes to our table
Waiter:
oga, I tell you that time, big dey save money, make I bring two?
Me: no, bring your
freezer, alakoba, abeg change the CD to Fela and increase the volume, thank you
Egbon:
how is your love life?
Me: love sank with
titanic in 1912, how’s your wife?
Egbon:
she’s wifely, what do you think about the removal of ajami from the #100 note
Me: you mean the
new note?
Egbon:
Yes
Me: It’s a welcome
development, Nigeria is multi-ethnic with more than 59 languages, and the state
language is English, we are bedevil by dual idealism, we copy wrongly, our
concept of secularism, democracy, federalism is warped. In a true secular state
Sharia court is non permissive.
It is high time we understood that a true federating
state is suppose to develop itself, every state is suppose to pull itself with
its own bootstraps from where it is, to where it ought to be.
Egbon:
flow Oliver, please flow
Me: do you know
that the present breed of politicians are intellectual vegetables, they
consider the position as a means of enriching their pocket, political offices
in Nigeria is not a call to serve, it is a call to loot, they are ‘lootocrats’
Egbon:
Oliver Onyibe, you are a seraph among mortals, you are the hope of a working
Lagos and Nigeria.
Me: ase, please we
need to hit the road, it’s getting dark.
Egbon:
yes, let’s go and prepare for the mystery of tomorrow.
Me: waiter, make
you take care of yourself and madam
Waiter:
thank you oga, abeg come tomorrow
Me: if I get
chance, I go come
Waiter:
thank you oga social drinker
About Onyibe Oliver
Oliver Onyibe is a/an |Clerisy| |Social Engineer| |Lover|
|Eclecticist|
Find him on twitter @osawaruonyibe
